I saw something profound today that made me want to write this opinion piece. Ironically, it was a youtube comment in response to deforestation impacting antbirds and army ants. See the video here, if you’re curious. It’s quite sad.
I think this rings incredibly true. As someone who genuinely wanted a child or two at one point, but no longer does for reasons I’ll get into here, it’s quite a tragedy. Those of us who originally wanted kids, but then noticed how bad the world has gotten, would want what’s best for our children. Honestly, I don’t see a bright world ahead.
There are two key reasons why I will not be having children. The primary one is that I do not have the resources to have a child right now. I am unwilling to work three jobs and negatively impact my mental health, which would put me in a situation where I’d rather be dead. That would not make me a good mother. Quite frankly, jobs I originally wanted are now unobtainable. At the moment, I am trying to grow as a voice actress from the ground up.
But, also, I am completely burdened with college debt and have a degree that will go unused. Biology. Originally, I wanted to be a wildlife researcher or veterinarian. I learned that with ADD and anxiety, I have a horrible memory, bad focus, and can’t study worth shit. I am a terrible test taker. Healthcare workers are treated like shit, so that’s out too. The pandemic proved that one. Finally, I get bored incredibly easily, so my eyes turned to the arts.
Being an author doesn’t pay. There hasn’t been enough interest in my books, so I’ve lost my motivation. At least with voice acting, perhaps I can get somewhere. It’s tough, though, and at the rate I am being paid starting off, I can’t afford a family. Nor will I be able to support a child anytime soon. My generation (tail end of millennials, I was born in 1995), I suspect, mostly cannot afford houses. So I wouldn’t be able to give my kids that, either.
The world is dying, simply put, and people in power are not doing enough to save it. Science is being ignored. Hell, anti-vaxxers proved how utterly idiotic people can be in response to COVID. The American healthcare system is rotten, as is capitalism in general. Socialism is an evil word to people who are causing this country to rot away.
If I haven’t made myself clear, I do not have high hopes for the United States, nor do I for capitalism in general. I see how it completely corrupts everything it touches. Large corporations have far too much power in everything, and they don’t give a damn about workers. Late-stage capitalism just supports never ending growth that isn’t possible. If you aren’t growing, you aren’t making shareholders happy. Companies make cuts and avoid regulations like all hell, and many Americans are horribly selfish.
I was born here and can’t afford to leave, either, so I don’t want to hear bullshit about ‘well why don’t you leave then!’ Trust me, I wish I could.
Don’t even get me started on how alt-right christianity is also ripping this country to shreds. This isn’t to say good christians, who actually respect thy neighbor and let people who are not affecting them live, should be screamed at, though.
My point is… I don’t have optimism for this country, not with the extremists rising in power. Why would I bring a child into this world? Especially as a LGBTQ+ woman. I’m a bisexual grey ace cis woman who is very much not christian. I’m a polytheistic omnist and I’m so tired of seeing ‘but does this politician uphold the bible’ and all that shit, I don’t care about your disgusting bloody book and am against it being something to turn to in a country that SHOULD NOT HAVE RELIGION in its laws at all. Granted – I’m sure alt-right extremists would be drooling over the fact that I’m not interested in having kids so I wouldn’t ‘corrupt’ them or some shit.
And yet, they still keep bitching at women like me for not having kids and ‘doing my duty’. I’m not bringing kids into this world because of you, and I’m sure there’s plenty of women like me. Good people, who would make loving parents, who would try to listen to their kids. We want a good world for kids, and that’s not what we can give them. Not in the United States, with the situation like this.
With climate change no doubt gearing up to make things worse, and the powerlessness I feel (no, me eating much less beef in general will do nothing even if I’m doing it for health reasons. Large corporations need to be held accountable, not the individuals who don’t contribute nearly as much) I don’t see think it is reasonable for me, personally, to have kids.
So, if I’m asked: “Why don’t you have kids, Des?” My response will be: “Because I can’t give them a world that will be good to them, and that would be cruel.”
Perhaps I will adopt someday, when I can afford it. There will need to be a lot of research involved. As much of a pessimist I have been, lately, I can at least offer that should I be able to advance in my career. I doubt I’ll be able to afford that, but who knows what will happen in the future.
Me birthing a child, though? Maybe stop trying to regress the country to the 1800s, then we can talk about whether or not it’d be reasonable for me to be a breeding sow.
Until then, can the ‘you should have kids’ nonsense.
(Also, trust me…this is very tame compared to what I could rant about regarding the state of the US.)
4 thoughts on “Why I will not be having kids.”
It’s so funny I was talking to a guy several months ago about the people who don’t want to have kids should be the ones to have kids. But yes at the end of the day, we balance out the crazies who need to have 12.
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True that, I see the sentiment echoed often which is both understandable and sad at the same time.
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That’s so true!
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As someone who has chosen to be childless by choice, you helped sum up the reason why I won’t have children. Our overall population as a species has exploded to where the planet won’t be able to support more human lives, and I know there will be horrific consequences regarding this fact.
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