Lately, I’ve been taking up many projects such as various things to do with writing (my own editing work & a commission), narration (which eventually I’ll take commissions for, once I get better), and skit work/informative videography pieces. My goals are to finish the commission relatively soon (I have a lot done on it!) and finish the edits for my next novel this month (I suppose we can say that’s my “Camp Nanowrimo” project). I’d like to return to learning art again, if possible, though I have so much on my plate already (I might do that despite this though.)
I’m noticing that I have a tendency to look at one thing, enjoy it, and want to do it as well. Be it with music (luckily I haven’t attempted to get into THAT), skit work, writing, art, and more. I see beautiful creative work, and I also want to ‘do the thing’, per say. The hard part is to narrow down what exactly I would like to do, because there’s just so many projects I’d like to work on–and I have a full time job on top of all this that drains my mental energy, shortening the amount of time I can work on all of these projects.
Right, I also have this blog, which I’m going to try and maintain better (we will see how that goes). But the point is, I’m juggling a lot, and the issue is trying to find a time to just rest. I get super angry at myself for just wasting time on youtube and accomplishing nothing for hours. I could be using that time to read and support other authors, after all, which I will actively try to shift to (My “to be read” list is growing so I need to begin working on it.) I could also use that time to, perhaps, beta read and provide feedback.
However, I am coming to realize that my brain does have a limit. I see something shiny and want to create it myself. I adore the arts, different perspectives, and being able to do things myself. World building is something that really tickles my fancy, as seen with my compendium, and I have a ton of writing projects that I put aside a while ago that I’d like to work on again someday. The issue is, I really don’t know when to take a proper break. I’m trying to work on that more, but really, I’m bad at it. I feel guilty when I have a day with something not done, yet it leads to exhaustion and burnout much faster.
Truth be told, someday my goal is to sustain on all of these creative projects so I have far more time to work on them. My dream is either to become a well established author or narrator, or eventually a biologist/herpetologist (entomology/arachnology sounds fun too.). I don’t know how I’m going to get there, either way. Maintaining social media is tough, and it becomes overwhelming/stressful frequently, especially since it’s a major distraction. I hate how often my brain just…wanders when I have goals I’d like to complete for the day. Maybe I should see a psychologist for my ADHD to get meds, but I don’t have the money for it currently. Maybe someday!
So, yeah. The point of this article was just to get my thoughts down, the rantings & ravings of a scattered creative, I’ll say. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I’ll try to be optimistic.
Des M. Astor 