Vampire Pranksters: April Fools! [Canon Fun!]

Art of the lovely Ares by Harcloniter 🙂


Hey there! For a part of my series, I have a vampire motorcycle gang led by Ares, and they’re actually rather nice. They fight to protect the innocent people in their city. On top of that, however, they have wild senses of humor, and know how to have fun. Harmless prank wars therefore spark up on April 1! I wanted to write a fun scene of these characters just interacting and playing around, because a lot of my series is dark and dreary. I didn’t get to include much slice of life stuff, so I’ll do so in things like this (and when I eventually make my newsletter).

This takes place after the events of Huntsmaster City, and prior to the opening of Cobratongue University (the magical college book I am working on). In other words, April 1, 2020. Looks like the year of 2020 went differently in this version of Earth, for sure.

If you’d like context on how my vampire lore works, click here! Otherwise, read on for some fun!

Prank Wars!

The world is a vampire, sent to drain… or, well, prank.

Ares felt good today–really good. He examined himself in the mirror, a smirk planted on his face. Running his claws through his side-shaved hair-cut, which had dark hair dyed a blood red at the tips, he reached up with a black claw to pick at his blade-like teeth. At the moment, he was practicing his fake voice to try and prank the hell out of his gang. Truth be told, he was not very good at it. His fake high-pitched voice was obviously just that–false. Therefore, he stared at himself in the mirror with a tilted head, trying to come up with a better prank than everyone else.

He ran his claws over the scarring on his pale flesh, saying, “AHA! I KNOW–wait, nope, would not work.” He furrowed his brow, now starting to pace. “I’m a badass horrifying vampire and I can’t come up with a prank this year?! What the hell. No no, I got this.”

As he spoke, the mirror began to…darken, and the lights began to flicker. The powerful male vampire fixed his eyes on the mirror, blinking several times. His reflection didn’t blink back. Rather, its grin widened unnaturally, to the point where it reached ear to ear. Then, its limbs grew and cracked, claws lengthening to a far longer degree. The jaw opened and widened to the point of looking like it could gobble anyone up.

Ares was a big tough guy, of course, he wasn’t afraid of anything. Right?


The male vampire, who in the past had held the line fearlessly against countless enemies in the name of protecting the innocent, paled even further. He backed toward the bathroom door as the lights flickered out, yet he could still see due to his pristine vision. His reflection stared at him and seemed to snap its jaws happily, reaching out of the mirror and toward him.

It was at that point that Ares threw back his head and let out a scream. “GAHAHAHA! THE MIRROR IS FUCKING HAUNTED! G-GHOST! GHOST! SHIT SHIT SHIT! DON’T KILL ME, MAN, I’M TOO UUUH BADASS? YEAH! FUCK OFF! GAAAAAH!”

Suddenly, the lights flickered on, and Ares shuffled to the corner of the bathroom, his eyes as wide as saucers. He hugged himself, shuddering like a scared kitten, as he came to realize there was giggling outside. His eyes swept over the bathroom–there were pictures of soft shells and sand, the scent of the beach, and cold blues for the curtains, again highlighting an ocean-setting. Certainly nothing out of a horror movie.

The door opened, causing the vampire to gulp and bare his fangs, letting out a guttural growl. He hadn’t locked the door, as he’d been just talking to the mirror and doing nothing more.

Entering into the bathroom were two women with amused smirks on their faces. Cecelia, who had dyed-white hair with streaks of bright blue in it, gothic-styled clothing to fit the gang, fair skin with various puncture wounds showing, and blue-painted nails, gave a high five to a shifter woman. Said shifter woman, Darcia, had long, wavy dark hair and onyx skin dotted with scars from combat. She wore a spiked choker, and rather than nails, she had black claws, quite like the vampire.

The two women began to crack up at the sight of the spooked vampire before Ares realized it was all a prank. He narrowed his eyes and burst into boyish giggles along with them, clutching his sides. Soon, however, he stood up and rolled his shoulders back. Pointing a claw toward them, he said, “Oh fuck you two! I can’t believe you fucking got me with ILLLUSION magic! Seriously?! That’s the oldest trick in the book!”

Darcia sneered at Ares. “Yet, you fell for it, you big ‘prankster’. We got you first. I think we win. Don’t we, Cecelia?”

Cecelia placed her hands on her hips, smirking widely. “Two for two. My brother fell for the ankle trap and was hanging upside down for a while. We ruined his precious hair.”

From behind them came another vampire, this one with a side-shaved haircut like Ares, but with streaks of purple within it. Her skin was deeply dark in tone, like Darcia’s, and she had many piercings to complement her punkish style. Clarice was part of the gang, and she was gawking at both the shapeshifter and human who had pranked the vampire gang leader so well. “Shit. You two got him?! We never get him! Oh I need to take some notes.” She had purple plushy dice on a chain around her neck, as well, likely to Dungeon Master a Dungeons & Dragons game later.

Ares’s face, meanwhile, was flushed with embarrassment. “I’ll have my revenge!” he promised, shaking his fist at the mischievous women. “And I know JUST where to find an ally!” With that, he shapeshifted into a crow, flying out of the bathroom and away from the pranksters. He had a mission! Robert Smoke sounded to be the butt of their first joke–surely he’d help him, despite their frenemy rivalry. Now that they had a common enemy, they could join forces once again.

A crow landed next to the very grumpy-looking male vampire. Robert Smoke was a turned vampire, not naturally borne, so his ears were rounded, unlike Ares’s. His hair was slicked back and dyed white. He had rather defined musculature, seen on the arms poking out of a sleeveless T-shirt. His pale skin had quite a bit of scarring, similar to Darcia, indicating that the two were melee fighters when it came down to battle in this wild world.

At the moment, however, there was no such call for fighting. Smoke stared at a laptop, scrolling through something to find the solution to his prank’d problem. No doubt, he wanted revenge as well. He didn’t even look over to the Crow; rather, he growled, “What do you want, asshole?”

Ares landed on the floor, and after doing a comical dance number as he usually did in crow form, he shifted to his normal self and leaned on the side of the couch, smirking lightly. They were in the gang’s lounge, which was a room with dark ceilings, black carpeting, and leather couches to relax on. Video gaming systems rested in front of television screens, and there were some desks tucked in the corner of the room. Paintings of detailed fantasy landscapes (not so fantasy as of late) decorated the walls as well, and the room had a woodsy, pleasant smell.

“I heard you got got by the gals. Whattdya say we team up and get revenge, huh?” Ares asked Smoke hopefully, widening his eyes in a pleading manner.

“You want me to team up with the likes of you?!” Smoke growled, turning to look at the gang leader and giving a scoff. He put the laptop aside and stood up to face Ares. He was only an inch shorter, at six feet of height, but had more muscle on him. Ares had quite a bit more power, but the two rarely clashed on equal terms even when they were true enemies.

Ares nodded. “YEAH OBVIOUSLY, come ooooon, they made me scream,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Or are you too chicken to poke the bears?! HUH?!”

Smoke snorted and ran his claws through his hair. “Of course not. I suppose I could put myself through the agony of dealing with you to get back at them for their prank on me.” Then, he grumbled, “Can’t believe they left me hanging upside down by the ankle for ten minutes.”

This caused Ares to burst into laughter and fall onto the floor, not rising for several minutes. Then, he got to his senses and stood up, patting Smoke on the shoulder. “GOOD! OK! Now we look for ideas,” Ares said cheerfully. The two vampires sat on the couch and stared at the laptop, scrolling through prank ideas.

Ares placed a claw on the screen, causing Smoke to give a light hiss. He batted the gang leader’s hand away and snarled, “Do not use your claws on my laptop, you prick. What are you pointing at? That? What a remarkably stupid idea.”

The gang leader scoffed, rolling his crimson eyes. “Oh yeah? You have a better idea?”

Smoke shot Ares a look and nodded, motioning to the screen when he scrolled further. “Obviously,” the grumpy vampire replied.

Seeing what he was pointing at, Ares grinned widely, letting out a series of boyish giggles. “Oh. I see whatcha mean…perfect.”

Cecelia and Darcia were sitting outside on the porch, engaging in the richest of gossip. Above, a half-moon glowed, the only other source of light aside from the warm glow of the porchlight. “Gods, the look on his face was hilarious,” Darcia said, unable to help but laugh quite a bit. “I could feel through the bond he was so pissed. Good! That bastard deserved it for stealing the last brownie. Damn vampire doesn’t get any nutrition from it either.”

“Technically we don’t either though,” Cecelia said, taking a sip of some tropical fruit juice. “Neither humans nor shifters, but brownies are worth it no matter what. We need to come up with another one on both him and Ares. They are so easy.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But they were my fucking brownies. Ok, you’re right. Another prank,” Darcia said, tapping a claw on her chin. Little did they know, there was ‘evil’ afoot.

A tiny rat crawled upon the edge of the roof with pure-white fur. His red eyes glinted mischievously, and he had a tiny bag in his jaws. Below, Darcia frowned, rubbing at her arm. “Hm. Smoke cut off the bond for a second… I wonder what he’s up to.” She took a sip of her juice and stared at Cecelia with concern.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Cece said reassuringly. “Maybe he’s planning something devilish, you never know. As opposed to being in real trouble. We’ll set off alarms if it lasts a bit over a day, alright?”

Smoke felt a pang of guilt–he and Darcia were lovers, and they shared a blood bond. Generally, the bond was cut off when he was in trouble. That was very much not the case now. But he couldn’t give away his and Ares’s plan by allowing a free-flow of emotion through the bond right now.

Meanwhile, a crow landed nearby with a similar bag in his beak. Both of them had masking magic to hide their scent from Darcia, who would be able to detect them otherwise. Both women below resumed chatting and didn’t notice the animals above–perfect. They were sitting at the table close to the house, meaning the roof’s slight overlook made it a perfect looming position for the rat and the crow’s perch.

The two shimmered and returned to their normal selves, the bags mysteriously growing with them.

One… two… three…

GAH! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Darcia exclaimed, standing up. Covering her from head to toe was golden glitter, something that would take FOREVER to get out! Her dark hair shined brightly in the moonlight and minor glow of porchlight. Cecelia suffered the same fate, glitter all over her. The two vampires had no remorse for their victims. They were now disco balls, at this point.

Ares was laughing so hard that he almost fell off the roof, with Smoke not too far behind. Luckily, they were able to grasp the sides with their claws.

“APRIL FOOLS!” The two both shouted, much to the women’s dismay!


I hope you enjoyed the story! Here’s some art of most of the characters involved! Art credit is, of course, in the captions. I had fun writing this, I hope you had fun reading it!

Published by Des M. Astor

Heya, I'm an author. Typically I write Urban Fantasy, and I only usually read in that genre as well. My author's website is both a writing blog and a showcase for my work. Check it out if you'd like.

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